The gaffes and laughs were all over the MLS and the real estate ads this week, friends, and we guarantee you’ll laugh or your money back.
This Is a Deal?
“Chandelier in front, upstairs bedroom is not included in sale of the house.” (Well somebody’spissed with his lender!)
“Horse farm with open floor, covered front porch” (I doubt if it’s covered in anything I care to step in.)
“New Construction simulated on nice lot” (The “Virtual Lot” – For most of us sorryass Los Angelenos who can’t afford the land to go with our homes.)
“Two new models crouton soon” (So they’ll be toasted – kind of like your career?)
“Chick en with us after Sunday’s Open” (Family dinner at Pluck You Chicken?)
This Has Appeal?
“7 daze a week” (Your high school report card score perhaps?)
“Beg opportunity” (Let me guess – divorce court?)
“Gurd gate” (Perhaps you mean regurgitate…which is what I did upon reading your listing remarks.)
“Snacks and drunks served” (Oh yay – another dinner with the family at Uncle Paddy’s place!)
“House has gas issues” (So do I, but I don’t consider that a selling point…)
This Is a Steal!
“Comes with gym member” (That explains the buff guy lathering up in my shower…)
“Major tree remodel soon” (Is this the home of Swiss Family Robinson, or is that you, God…sir?)
“Two bulgings” (So I guess you’ve seen me naked…)
“Bring a fiend” (Too late – I divorced him.)
Kiss This One Good-bye
“Near restaurants and cubs” (Either you live in Chicago, or you’re about to have your a__ handed to you by a Grizzly.)
That’s it for this week, friends. Remember: Spell Well and Sell.