Making an ash of yourself in real estate: MLS bloopers

There is nothing more affirming than finding errors in the property descriptions on the MLS, especially when they are anywhere near as ridiculous as the real life bloopers here!

How To Make An Ash of Yourself

“Will sell soot” (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)

“Farmers makeit every Tuesday”  (Hence the term, “bump-her crop.”.)

“Make this your nest cattle” (If there were a cattle nest in my tree, I wouldn’t venture outside without a really big hat.)

“Sophistication and crass” ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)

“Nice scaly rooms” (The heartbreak of Psoriasis.)

Lights Out, No One’s Home

“Lush lit” (Like when you stumbled into the room with your underwear over your trousers?)

“Braught in Europe” (How ’bout a little schnitzel with that, Hans?)

“Brick with beautiful clanging vines” (Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for your career…)

“Offers will be sordid based on qualifications” (Rep. Anthony Weiner’s message that accompanied his nudie Twitter photos.)

“This will be your last stop” (Said the LAPD to Uncle Paddy after he kissed the bartender and then peed in his shoe.)

“Best Reality tools in the biz” (Electroshock paddles?)

“High-end pain” (…said Rick Santoro while setting fire to Mitt Romney’s drivers license.)

Best Auto-fill Funnies of the Week:

“In escargot” (…said the snail to his mother after crawling in after curfew smelling of butter, garlic and wine.)

“Craps are on surface only” ( Too drunk to hit the toilet bowl?)

“Your buyers will yank you” (Um, isn’t that a little personal?)


Original post by Gwen Banta



Realtor with Greg Garrett Realty, actively licensed in the state of Virginia

Posted in Uncategorized

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